Newsie #27 : 6 June 2001

THE BULLY, THE PUPPY AND ME

I believe I was ready for love when I was in grade three.

My elementary days were spent in a private, coed school that was in the province and only a five-minute walk away from our house. I remember having this crush on a grade five boy who somehow resembled Richard Gomez. I was fortunate that he also had a crush on me.

Everytime I would play patintero after class he'd put his school bag where my knapsack would be. He would pass by wherever I was standing or he would stand near me if there was a chance. This went on for around three years---up to the time when I was in grade six and he was like 2nd year high school.

Yup, it was a case of puppy love and it was so frustrating. We knew each other, we kept on staring at each other, we knew we liked each other but we never talked. I really wanted to talk to this guy just to check if "Hey, do you also have brains to go with your good looks?"

I may not be pangit to look at but I was never the princess type either. I was always at the top of the class' honors list. I was also a bully. I ran with boys and chased boys and ran after boys during numerous games of "tag-you're-it". Boys in my class always saw me as one of them. While boys from the higher class, like that Richard-Gomez-look-alike, probably saw me in a different light.

Well, I was hoping I was seen in a different light. Unfortunately, I never did have the guts to talk to him. Too scared.

High school was spent in an all-girls school in highly urbanized Quezon City. Away from home. No boys. An adolescent trying to fit in. Desperately reconstructing myself into my idea of a more womanly me. While girls were running after me and I was running away from them---they thought I looked cute in short hair.

Then college came. Half of it was spent in Manila, the other half was spent in Diliman. It turned out that the bully from grade school never left, it just took a vacation.